DEJENNERATE.COM BLOG

Jesus is coming
as a Komodo Dragon

Good thing too, because I now own a possessed toy
Specifically, this thing. This little hand held device plays 20 questions with you. You think of an object…it asks you “yes” or “no” questions, and then takes a guess at what you’re thinking of. It claims to read your mind. I can’t prove that it doesn’t.

So far it has guessed:

piano – even though it didn’t ask me anything to do with music, or even if this item made noise.

tampon – even though it didn’t ask me anything like “do women use this?” “does it go inside a body?” The closest it asked was…”Is it made from synthetic material?” Well, no, it’s not. But my dog isn’t made of synthetic material either.

refrigerator – Didn’t ask me anything to do with the kitchen or even if it kept things cold. I think, “Does it open and close?” was the closest it got.

two-toed sloth – It asked me if it was a mammal. That’s it.

shopping cart - It asked me nothing related to a store at all.

Playstation – This one caused me to throw it out the window and start rocking back and forth uttering the novena in Latin.

So, yes, if you need a little demonic possession in your life….pick up one of these. Target has them on sale for $7 currently. And if you don’t believe me, look at the reviews for it on Amazon from other victims who purchased it.

posted by Jenn @ 1:16 PM  

Readers with Uteruses
Avert your eyes.

OK, now that it’s just me and the dong-bearers….

007 Redux, Part 22
I was finally able to see the new James Bond movie, Casino Royale. This is the first time in a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time I haven’t seen the new Bond movie the second it opened, by the way. And all I’ve been hearing since it has opened is that it’s “FRESH! NEW! DIFFERENT! UNIQUE! NOT LIKE ANY OTHER BOND THAT CAME BEFORE!” So, silly me, I was expecting to see something that was: “FRESH! NEW! DIFFERENT! UNIQUE! NOT LIKE ANY OTHER BOND THAT CAME BEFORE!” While I was watching it, I realized that the people saying those things are, at best, casual observers of the series. I am not a casual observer. I own the 007 Scene-It game. So around an hour into the movie, this “FRESH! NEW! DIFFERENT! UNIQUE! NOT LIKE ANY OTHER BOND THAT CAME BEFORE!” turned...for me anyway…into “Bond Redux, Part 22.” Not that it wasn’t a good movie….it certainly was and I enjoyed it a lot….but different? No. It was simply a Bond film like all the ones that came before (well not ALL the ones that came before. There was Moonraker to consider-- otherwise known as what happens when FRESH! NEW! DIFFERENT! UNIQUE! NOT LIKE ANY OTHER BOND THAT CAME BEFORE! goes horribly wrong).

Maybe I shouldn’t have read the book before seeing the movie. That could have accounted for my lack of awe.

Or maybe I’m just a traditionalist
My Dad and I had this discussion which amounted to him declaring that there is only one James Bond and that is Sean Connery. I've always thought his stance on this was overly radical, as I have always been pretty open to the modernizing of Bond over the years. But I’m starting to realize he’s kinda right. I just prefer the feeling of the old Bonds better (and by "old" I mean up to the end of Roger Moore). Not that I expect them to do them this way now, because they are painfully dated and would look hopelessly out of place in this age, but a homage to the old style would be nice. And I think that is why my favorite of the last 15 years or so has been The World is Not Enough. It had the style of the old Bonds, but modernized.

And there was that torture chair with Pierce in that hot white suit. Meow.

And apparently any old hottie can play a Bond Girl these days
I was watching the Bond girls in this movie and thought, yes, they are beautiful and sexy, but they are somewhat of the Standard Prototype Hottie variety. They are gorgeous like any other gorgeous girl you know, or see in the bars, or on television – but have nothing that makes them uniquely hot. The Bond girls of the older days were not just hot, each one had a unique presence that no other woman in the world could pull off. And, again, that’s why I like The World is Not Enough. Sophie Marceau had that.

I blame it all on Grace Jones.

Uterus-Owners….you can come back now.
Thanks for your cooperation in this matter.

Cookie Inferno Commencing
It’s that time of the year when my house becomes The Saturated/Trans Fat Emporium. So far I’ve learned that even though I make the same number of Christmas cookies every damn year, every year I will still have to make a run to Stop N Shop to buy extra plastic containers to store the cookies. Last year I needed 10 containers. I’ve already gone through all I have and I have two more kinds of cookies left to make. I think the gingerbread men are having Tupperware parties behind my back.

posted by Jenn @ 1:18 PM