DEJENNERATE.COM BLOG

I'm a vegetarian that eats both milk and eggs. And, quite frankly, I'm getting sick of you people who come up to me and say "You're not a real vegetarian if you eat eggs, because eggs are meat." So, I'm about to abolish some of the most popular eggs-meat theories.

Eggs are high in protein.
So are sperm. I've heard almost every inneundo for a blow job. I assure you, "Dining on steak tartar" is not one of them.

Eggs and meat are in the same aisle of the grocery store.
Tampons are also in the beauty aisle. I doubt I'll increase my sexual voracity by wearing plastic applicators as earrings.

Eggs are in every "Atkins friendly" breakfast entree
So are bacon and pepporoni. As far as I'm concerned, those aren't real meats either.


Eggs are baby chickens
Newsflash. Chicken Eggs are UNFERTILIZED. When an egg becomes fertilized, it ceases to be an egg. It becomes....well....a baby chicken. When I crack my egg and a bright yellow yolk comes out, that is called an "egg". When I crack an egg and Henny Penny's aborted grandchild comes out, that is called veal. At this point, I can call it meat. And, I'll probably throw up.

posted by Jenn @ 6:34 PM  

Louisiana is thinking of passing a law prohibiting the use of low-rise jeans because it exposes a girl's ass crack. Personally I think this is a positive thing for Mardi Gras as now girls will have two cleavage options to flash for beads. Gives new meaning to the phrase, "This is my best side"

Alan King died at 67. Alan was one of my all time comic favorites. RIP, old friend....we'll never forget you. In fact, I'm sure he's smoking a cigar with God right now complaining, "Couldn't you give me 2 more years so I could die at 69?" Well, it's important to exit on the biggest laugh.


Correction 5/13/04....Actually, he was 76, not 67 when he died. But I'm not correcting it because I like the damn joke. If you don't agree....write me. It will be filtered with the rest of my spam mail.

posted by Jenn @ 4:12 PM